


Hidden Figures

by PhenomenalBrat



Series: Body basics [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Insults, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Past fatphobia, Smut, dubious sexual encounters, fat!Kelly, past Fatmisia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 15:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30141564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhenomenalBrat/pseuds/PhenomenalBrat
Summary: This Alternative Universe scenario of Plus size ( fat) Kelly experiencing Fatmisic violence before her present day relationship with Alex. Also we get a flashback to Dansen's first sexual encounter.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen
Series: Body basics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2218434
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Hidden Figures

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes: We are in the realm of Alternative Universe "What if" scenarios in this fic. The question it had is essentially, "who the dynamic of Dansen or supercorp relationship and how those relationships form, be different if any of the people in those ships were less aesthetically conventional attractive, I.E fat. 
> 
> The question exists as an examination not just of possible interpersonal dynamics but also of external factors in how Fandom itself views shipping and what plays into what draws us to ship and how we describe and talk about characters that we find attractive. There exists a preponderance of "aesthetic bias. Aesthetic bias disproportionately affects people who fall outside the perceived standard realm of attractiveness. Fat is invariably treated as if it is synonymous with "ugly" despite that definitely not being objectively true. 
> 
> How the personal and societal perception of "Fatness" as a characteristic, affects the character's sexual and interpersonal relationships, is going to control the story going forth. We will explore that in this first part here, with Kelly in this Alternative Universe fiction. Also take an opportunity while reading this to ask yourself if you ever find yourself feeling the need to tell someone, "Oh no you look so pretty" in the face of them objectively Stating that they are fat. Fat does not =Ugly and adjusting description of characters in that angle shouldn't be assumed to be a disparagement on characters appearance. A person can be gorgeous and also still be fat at the same time. Those are not neccesarily separate things at all. 

Kelly pulled at the fur cuffs that tied her to the bed. Sweat glistened on her skin and Alex hand glided over the curves and roles of her naked body. She wanted more.

Alex had a tendency to take her time when they were like this. Her face was resting on Kelly's breast and Kelly could practically feel Alex breathing in the scent of Honey and Shea butter that lingered on her skin from her shower earlier. 

"God. I love when you LET me touch you like this," Alex whispered 

"Alex-"

Alex ran her fingers up Kelly's thigh. "Do you want me to touch you?" 

It was an almost funny question because at that moment, of course Kelly did. Alex had a tendency to handle her like she was a prize to be touched delicately. Alex pressed two fingers inside Kelly's body, curling and pressing through the warmth and wetness of her center until she found just...the right...spot. 

"Alex!"

"That's it...Just let go. That's my girl."

Alex had the tendency to talk her through sex. It was almost a game between them, as Alex seemed to search for just the right words to draw the perfect response from Kelly. 

Alex pulled her fingers back to lick the slick nectar of Kelly's body from her fingers, before offering Kelly a taste...and this was another of those things Kelly very much enjoyed. A tease...a game…

Alex' other hand ran languidly and gently over the curve of her belly, and back up towards her breast and down. 

"Careful love…" Alex soothed as Kelly found herself pulling at the cuffs a bit too much as she sought out more of Alex's touch.

**. . . .**

It was pushing 11:30pm already. Kelly couldn't really sleep. She had been yanked from her slumber by an unfortunate memory or nightmare perhaps.Alex was laying naked and restful next to her, partially wrapped in sheets. Her hand still rested on Kelly's bare thigh, leading Kelly's thoughts towards the amorous activity they had indulged in early. She definitely felt...satiated. 

Her eyes were drawn to the slight bruising on her left wrist. The red fur cuffs she had gotten for them a few months ago to…"play" had definitely seen a lot of use lately. That really went both ways for her and Alex though. Alex had double checked and triple checked afterwards. Alex had a tendency to worry that she had hurt Kelly in ways that she didn't thoroughly enjoy. 

Perhaps in some twisted and complex way, Kelly had found herself growing to enjoy pain a bit too much. That didn't really feel like it was it though. Being fat had often lead to needing to navigate aggression, even in sex, but Alex wasn't sexually aggressive. That had been a navigation since she was young though. The twist and turns of puberty had expanded the growth and width of her body in the past 20 years. The time in the military had evened out her health but her weight simply was there. Her body had balanced out at that weight and while her health was stable, weight was a complexity all its own. She both liked and felt trapped by that at times, thought never with Alex. 

That was to be expected when your body was treated as both a fetish and repulsion simultaneously. It was almost funny if it wasn't so exhausting. That was another ugly lesson from the past.

The way Alex had always handled her, since their very first time together, was so refreshing in a lot of ways. Alex's fascination and touch never felt dangerous or selfish or needy in that sense. 

**. . . .**

**_3 years ago_ **

_Kelly inhaled deeply. Gwen hand losses from around her neck. Her head was swimming. Gwen's volatile sexual appetite seems to have grown sharper. The finger of Gwen's other hand ran slowly up Kelly's thighs. With her hands bound by the dark blue fur cuffs Gwen fancied, Kelly was being taken for a ride that was teetering on a line between pain and enjoyment._

**_Trigger warning: Uhm… I don't wanna interrupt story flow, but...this is alittle weird. I want to say fat phobic or Fatmisic behavior and derogatory comments from Gwen is the trigger warning, but I should note that she is sexually attracted to Kelly so it's kinda complicated and degrading how Gwen works out anti fat mindsets on Kelly's body during sex._ **

_"You're enjoying this aren't you? " Gwen spoke but she didn't really expect a response. " Just being a fat whore waiting for me to fuck you." Gwen had a tendency to be rather derogatory in her talk when she wanted to push Kelly's buttons._

_Kelly had thought for awhile that Gwen got off of it, more so than sex sometimes. It felt at once like she was both angry with Kelly and desired her at the same time. Truth be told it was a little off putting. Gwen touching her was exquisite of course. She was very adept at winding Kelly up. Sex with Gwen often left her both satisfied and deeply disgusted with herself. The cuffs were always just a little tighter than she liked and the further entangled she became with Gwen, the more she felt her emotional boundaries falter._

_"You should be glad I'm touching you. "Gwen slid two fingers inside Kelly roughly and Kelly felt a confusing mix of arousal and shame, practically seizing her body in a vice like grip._

_The pressure of Gwen's grip around her throat returned. It wasn't that she didn't like a little choking and play. Gwen just had a tendency to push aggressively on the edge of Kelly's own boundaries. It felt almost too fast and there was an edge of fear Present as she was never sure how far Gwen intended to push._

_Gwen pulled her fingers from the warmth of Kelly's body before aggressively pressing them to Kelly's lips and pressing her fingers into Kelly's mouth._

_"Gwen-"_

_" Don't speak, with your mouth full, love-" Gwen just said stuff that bordered between dirty talk and mind fuck during sex. She pulled her fingers back out of Kelly's mouth and ran her hand down Kelly's body roughly._

_The pace she set as she pushed three fingers into Kelly's cunt was fast, almost shocking. And Kelly found herself teetering between not quite being ready and shamefully enjoying it...like part of her wanted Gwen to treat her like this. What did that say about her own mind?_

_She didn't even register how much she was pulling at the cuffs._

_"Greedy...always wanting more." Gwen was mind screwing her again as she increased the already vigorous pace of her fingers..._

**_. . . ._ **

_Kelly inhaled sharply. The lingering remnants of tears stung her eyes. Her throat felt pained. She finally rubbed it as she shocked her head to attempt to clear the shock that still rolled through her body._

_She felt sick. The sound of the shower Gwen was running hit her ears and she felt grateful for the time to think. She looked herself over. The minut sourness in her body reminded her of what had just happened. Gwen breathing the words "You like it this don't you?" and "fat whore" into her ears had thrown her for a loop as Gwen fingers pressed inside her. It all made her feel dirty and used in a way she didn't neccesarily like...which was interesting considering how readily her body responded to Gwen's control._

_Her phone vibrated with a message from Hasani. He was always worried whenever Kelly was with Gwen. Her eyes searched the floor for her T-shirt and underwear as she ran her fingers through her hair. She got off the bed, grabbing her panties off the carpet and her old black Khaka Khan concert t-shirt, she had had on last night. She pulled the shirt on and turned to find Gwen Watching her._

_She hadn't even noticed the sound of the shower cutting off or Gwen stepping out of the bathroom in her underwear._

_"Where are you headed? I was gonna order dinner for us?" Gwen was smiling and her head was tilted to the side alittle, like a helpless puppy almost. It was that Jeckyl vs Hyde tendency that threw Kelly off with Gwen alot._

_"I was- I have to- Hasani needs my-"_

_Gwen stepped across the room, drawing closer. She laughed a little. "Can't he wait. He's a big boy." Her tone was light and almost playful. Gwen was particularly volatile though in a complicated way that sometimes snuck up on you. Her mood shifted like the wind, in Kelly's experience._

_"Gwen. I should-"_

_Gwen stepped closer and leaned in to kiss Kelly. Kelly went with it. "You could stay here," she suggested as she pulled back. She reached for Kelly's hand before taking her by the wrist._

_"Hasani uhm- needs my help." Kelly started to turn. She felt like she was on display as Gwen looked her over._

_"Come back to bed." It was an order. She could feel the shift on Gwen's tone. She sounded like she was stalking Kelly like prey._

**_Trigger warning: Fatphobia and Fatmisic Insults, physical assault, mildly dubious sexual encounters and Intimate partner Violence._ **

_Staying didn't feel like the right option._

_"Gwen-"_

_"Do you just not care about me? Am I boring you?" Her voice had that dangerous edge to it. Kelly mentally said the words "Jeckyl and hyde" to herself. She didn't want Gwen to think she did not care. She did care. "Gwen stop." She wanted to cut off the mood swing that was clearly coming. "Of course I care-"_

_"No you don't! Fuck you!" Gwen was yelling before Kelly fully had time to register what was happening. "Stupid, fat, selfless bitch!" Gwen released Kelly's wrist and punched her in the stomach, before shoving her backwards._

_Kelly didn't even have a chance to catch her balance. She fell backwards hitting the side of the dresser with her head and gaining a small but startling cut._

_Everything went still then. The very air in the room paused as Gwen seemingly became aware of what she had done to Kelly._

_" I- oh my- Kelly I-"_

_Kelly was still trying to process what was happening as she sat vulnerable and half naked amidst Gwen's excuses and attempts to gloss over the harm with a kiss._

**. . . .**

**(Present)**

" ….Kelly? Babe.??"

Kelly finally zoned back in as she realized that Alex was calling her name. She looked over to see her fiance smiling and watching her though she seemed concerned. 

"Sorry- I- I was-" Kelly searched her brain for an excuse for where her mind had gone.

"You okay?" Alex looked her over. She reached forward slowly to touch Kelly's cheek and Kelly realized a tear had worked its way out of her eye and slid down her face. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just some old stuff."

Alex nodded. Kelly had already given her the run down of things with Gwen before and she didn't feel the need to rehash it. "I love you. " Alex gently wiped the tear from Kelly's cheek with the side of her thumb.

"I know. "

Alex looked down at the bed for a moment before moving a little closer. She pulled a loose sheet up on them more as she rested her head near Kelly's breast.

Kelly looked at her. Her eyes ran over Alex naked form in the bed.

"So soft and warm." Alex whispered quietly still cleansing the glistening of tears from Kelly's cheek.

Kelly found herself recalling the first time she and Alex had made love, right there on this very bed.

**. . . .**

**( 20 months ago)**

_The chill of the evening air had finally compelled Kelly to put her jacket back on as she and Alex walked down the sidewalk towards Alex's apartment building. The past 3 months for them had been steady and delicate and refreshing. Ever since they had kissed, they had simply grown closer._

_Alex was still humming "Drunk in love" and occasionally looking over at Kelly as they walked. The Beyonce concert they had gone to had reminded Kelly of college, getting drunk with Hasani or April and post exam parties. She had on her favorite pair of black leather pants that she had picked up from 'Torrid' when she was 22 years old. Despite fluctuations up and down over the years, they had always fit perfectly somehow and she felt exceeding confident wearing them. Her grey V-neck shirt cut a flattering and semi distracting look for her cleavage as they strolled along._

_Alex obviously could have walked herself to the door after Kelly pulled up about half a block away, parking on the curb, but Kelly had lately found herself wanting to linger around and spend more and more time with Alex. There had slowly been this building energy between them, despite the desire to take things slow or get to know each other more._

_As they finally reached the door to Alex's apartment on the 3 floor, Alex slid the key in, unlocking the door. "That was fun. I haven't been out to dance or see a concert in-" Alex laughed as if she really just couldn't recall the same time._

_"Well then, I guess I know what our new favorite date activity will be." Kelly's tone was teasing and light, flirty and a little charmed._

_There was a pause as they simply looked at each other and Alex subtly licked her lips as she looked Kelly over. It certainly wasn't the first time she had noticed Alex do that and Kelly had been feeling her thoughts grow increasingly dirtier all night._

_"Good, you look delicious. I didn't know you were into leather." Alex observed as she began to lean in to kiss Kelly._

_"I'm a woman of mystery?"_

_"Oh yeah. Most definitely. Mystery is sexy though."_

_Kelly closed the distance between them and kissed Alex then. And what should of been the goodnight kiss, lingered on as Kelly held Alex closer. Alex' hands wandered towards Kelly's hips before carefully moving toward her butt, clad in the black leather pants. Alex kicked the door open. She stepped backwards into the apartment and took Kelly with her._

_"Kelly. I-" whatever Alex was gonna say was swallow as Kelly pulled her back in to kiss her again._

_Alex seemed to take Kelly ferver as unspoken consent to continue and her lips moved from Kelly's lips, towards her neck. Alex' hands moved to pull Kelly's jacket off and Kelly let her, as they stood in the middle of Alex' apartment._

_"This okay?" Alex paused to check as her hands reached the zipper of Kelly's leather pants._

_That was a loaded question. It wasn't a bad question. The fact that Alex was so invested in seeking out Kelly's desires was refreshing. It momentarily reminded her of Tala. It was sexy…Being wanted and listened too. Kelly mentally took stalk of herself. She was okay. She definitely didn't want Alex to stop. It felt like forever since she had been held and touched with this much care._

_She really couldn't bring herself to care about the lingering stretchmarks on her body, that snaked up her side and stomach and mark the sides of her breast, that had fortunes or unfortunately filled out quite abundantly in her teens, they were like twisting veins just a smidgen lighter than her skin. Gwen sexual denigration had left her middlingly self conscious about that after she finally freed herself from the toxicity of that relationship, no longer willing to allow Gwen abusive behavior as she had pulled herself from the emotional "weakness" that had trapped her in that relationship. Alex' wonder and unmarred desire for her was noticeably different._

_Alex's hand that wasn't lingering by her zipper, glided up her body to caress her face. "I've thought about us together like this so many times. "_

_"Me too."_

_Alex took the unspoken but clear permission to continue from Kelly's obvious body language._

_"God...the fantasies I've had about you,being so soft and warm, under me…" Alex words painted a tempting picture as she moved them towards the open door of Alex's bedroom and onto the bed. She fully unzipped Kelly's leather pants and worked then off her legs, leaving them on the floor._

_Alex stood back up, pulling her own red corsets tank top, over her head and unwrapping the buttons of her own jeans. She paused as if she was giving Kelly a show as she stripped herself while Kelly watched. Within a moment, Alex was stripped down to her black satin underwear, that looked like something she might have gotten from Victoria's Secret, though that store never really did have an Alex vibe. She looked like the personification of seduction as she stepped back towards Kelly._

_Alex' hand rested on Kelly's bare thigh as her other hand took the hem of Kelly's T-shirt and her reassuring smile had Kelly, nearly tearing the shirt from her own body. She moved back, letting Alex follow her and Alex eyes zero in on her breast still cushioned in her laced red bra, she had yet to take off. She leaned forward to kiss Kelly's throat,moving toward her breast as she lay her back onto the new 1000 thread count dark blue sheets Kelly herself had picked out for Alex just a few weeks ago._

_Kelly's fingers tangled on Alex's hair, wanting her closer. Alex' hand that had been resting on Kelly's thigh moved up her body, caressing over her stomach and paused to linger softly on her skin as if drinking in the experience of touching Kelly. If any part of Kelly had felt nervous at baring herself to Alex's gaze, it was abundantly clear that Alex liked what she saw._

_"You want me to take this off you? Then I can taste every inch of you babe." Alex' words were practically whispered into Kelly's skin as Alex lips lingered over the swell of her breast. Her other hand_

_It was both a question and a gentle command. Alex' other hand was playing with the front clasp of Kelly's bra, very close to unlatching it. Kelly took the initiative, reaching toward the clasp, her fingers brushing over Alex' as she unloosened it herself. Alex brushed the straps off her shoulders and Kelly let it fall from her body allowing Alex eyes to her in._

_"Gorgeous. " Alex whispered the words into the room as she pushed Kelly gently back into the mattress._

_Kelly could feel her heart pounding in her chest, racing with excitement as Alex lips brushed over her nipple. She barely registered the feeling of Alex hand moving down to tug gently at the waist band, pulling her underwear down._

_"Just let me take care of you."_

_"Alex!" Kelly could hear the wantoness in her own voice. Her fingers were back in Alex' hair and pressed her chest closer to Alex lips as her girlfriend's tongue licked over her breast. The slow rolling moan in Alex Chest, made Kelly feel like the most decadent thing Alex ever tasted._

_"You like-?" Alex pulled back. Her hand that had been pulling on Kelly's underwear, finally pulling them down her legs, maneuvering the cloth off her body and tossing it unceremoniously to the edge of the bed._

_Kelly hand brushed against the side of Alex' face, like a quiet pause in the whirlwind that was burning into their first exploration of each other. Alex turned slightly to kiss the inside of Kelly's wrist like she was so delicate Alex was savoring. Alex fingers that had been busy removing her panties moved between her legs to test the wetness and readiness of Kelly's body._

_Her thighs were slick. Perhaps part of Kelly hadn't realized herself how much she was enjoying Alex' careful exploration. Alex brought her wet fingers to her own lips to lick them clean. She reached her hand forward, offering Kelly a taste of her own juices. There's eyes met, like a quiet "check in" before Kelly licked at Alex fingers, moaning almost pornagraphically at the action._

_Alex pulled her fingers back as she watched Kelly, completely intranced. Then she moved closer, like a siren call she could not resist and she kissed her, hard, intense and almost desperate. And then she was moving down Kelly's body again, enjoying the tempting softness of her girlfriend's body before positioned herself between Kelly's legs, pulling on thigh over her shoulder and coaxing Kelly's body to grind harder against her as she licked firmly at Kelly wet open cunt before sliding three fingers inside, curling just right to press into that spot that made Kelly Scream her name with abandon._

_Kelly inhaled deeply, nearly lost as the fire or arousal and pleasure raced up her spine. The heat and warmth of the room was peak but the toss and turn of her body mixing with Alex's touch as she could hardly stop the litany of noise that passed her lips as Alex's pace increased, drawing her closer to cuming until she was spilling hard into Alex tongue and fingers._

_The rest of the night would find her spinning the tables on her lovers. Reciprocation was a delicacy all it own…_

**. . . .**

**(Present)**

"Can I hold you?" Alex asked. "You look like you need a cuddle.

Kelly laughed a little as her girlfriend effortlessly shifted the mood to something much more fluffy and calm rather than Kelly's constant over thinking. "Always." Kelly immediately accepting the offer, moving to let her head rest on Alex Chest as Alex repositioned herself to hold her.

"I love you." Alex reiterated. It was a simple beautiful state but there was clearly an unasked question behind it.

"I had a bad dream...about…"

"About?" 

"Gwen and everything that happened with her after Tala...after I lost her."

"Oh." Alex nodded. "I still wish I could punch her in her face for treating you like that."

"Alex-"

"I know...The past, old wounds, healing…" Alex sighed. They had had this discussion before, when Kelly told Alex about Gwen the first time. " You're just- you're the most pure, beautiful woman, and she- she did- she did not deserve you."

"It was just- I don't even want to worry about that. I just want you here with me."

"You've got me. Actually You had me at Hello remember?" Alex noted the first day they had met in that hospital after Kelly's brother sustained gunshot injuries.

Kelly laughed feeling almost embarrassed at how Alex had confessed to being taken with her since day one. "Cuddle and sleep?" 

"Absolutely. All night if you want," Alex promised.

"All night? Reminds me of the first-"

"First time you fell for my advances?" 

"Fell is a nice description. "

"Or I fell for yours." 

"Or both" Kelly noted as she closed her eyes and pulled closer to Alex. If there was any more conversation to be had, it could certainly wait for morning. She had her Alex now.

"Night. Love you." And that's all she needed to hear from Alex to feel safe and restful...

  
  
  


**** **. . . .**

Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave comments, questions, constructive criticism or kudos.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's notes: I'm not gonna bore you guys here with a long explanation on desirability politics or Fatmisic behavior and how that can intersect with fetish. What I will say is that 1) This AU is not suggesting that Azie is fat obviously. 2)Fat is not inherently a negative or insulting thing but desirability rules and societal construction can often treat fat people that way. 3) The usual projection of desirable bodies in media is thin or muscular or curvy but not "fat" in ways that lands outside the general protection of "marketable " Fatness. 4) Alot of the systematic use of Anti Fatness is interwoven with Anti blackness and the way in which black bodies were judged and policed historically. This all gets very interesting when you overlay the hypothetical idea of Fatness in this AU with the fact that Kelly is a women,Black and Queer which is then multiple axis of oppression. 
> 
> On that note, this fic is for people who don't get the chance to image or project the idea of their own selves and bodies being represented by Characters they enjoy. It's reflective of the understanding that a change in body size should not change a characters' value romantically and sexually. There may however be a part of your brain that's put off though by the idea of characters you find attractive or desire being imagined or hypothesized in that setting or body type. No offense but that may just be your own unresolved fatphobia or your own understanding of "erotic capital" in other people, based on the lessons you've absorbed. And to be completely fair, I dislike a good deal of things about my own body or did a lot growing up, despite the fact that I am not fat myself. And I'm sure that maybe I still need to unravel my feeling about the idea of eroticism with fat people. (Tbh, it took me forever writing the Dansen sex scene and deciding how explicit to get and guessing out how the reading would enjoy or question what was written but that could of been reflection of my own uncertainty. )
> 
> Author's notes: Gwen being sexually intimate with and attracted to Kelly in this story, does not negate that her behavior is fatphobic, Fatmisic, physically abusive and quite possibly mentally abusive too. There is a notable difference between the respect and cherishing Alex shows Kelly ( Though to be clear, Alex isn't Kelly's "saviour" for giving her love and respect) vs Gwen treatment of Kelly, which was complicated by What I hope was clear, i.e Gwen angry that she was attracted to fat!Kelly and denigrated Kelly's body emotionally and sexually to process that. And in retrospect this could be read as Gwen treatment of Kelly bordering on sexual assault just from Kelly's overall discomfort mixed into the situation and Gwen refusal to acknowledge or respect some of Kelly boundary. This does make me think of an article that I read about this very subject to:   
> https://www.vice.com/amp/en/article/8894bx/plus-size-girls-sex-stories-fatphobia?__twitter_impression=true
> 
> Author's notes: Okay to be, balanced and fair, I will note that thin people have their weight commented on and on an interpersonal level there can be commands and Insults traded or assumptions made. Those things are not systemic though, in the way that Fatmisic and fat discrimination is. On that note, I'm not saying that not being sexually attracted to a fat person is wrong. You're not required to force yourself to feel sexual attraction to another person either. How we understand desirability and other people's bodies as well as our own does factor into that though too.
> 
> Last thing. There is a #Supercorp fic coming soon with the premise of "plus size ( fat) Lena that leans a little more into desirability capital and boardroom to bedroom power. Stay tuned for that. And on that note: https://wearyourvoicemag.com/fatphobia-is-not-a-sexual-preference/
> 
> Anyways...thanks for reading. 
> 
> -B 


End file.
